Wednesday, May 11, 2011

11 May 2011

It has been a good week, here is hoping it continues :) Today was another good day, it was a little more emotional but I am still feeling good in myself if that makes sense.

The reason today was a bit more emotional is because a beautiful little girl made her entrance into the lives of an amazing family this morning... meaning a lovely friend of mine popped her bubba out today... (I'm sure a lot of you know who I am talking about) and I went to visit them... I wasn't sure how it was going to go quite honestly, but it was and is important for me to continue to show my support and love for these people like I would of before I lost my little girl... So I went and got some lovely snuggles from a beautiful baby girl who already seems to talk in her sleep!

I am not really sure I know how it went... physically it went well, I was ok and enjoyed seeing the family and their newbie, but it was still in a way a little hard for me... I can't begin to explain why... because I don't know ... but I guess it was expected... and I am glad I went and I think the fact that I can sit here now only a couple of hours later and still be feeling ok is a testament to how far I have come on this journey... it is like riding a never ending roller coaster... there will be highs, and lows and twists and flips that make my stomach turn... but there is also the "boring" parts of the roller coaster... when you just travel along...

I also took down the cot from our baby room... yes it has taken this long... but I'm glad I waited, because it was ok to do now... still not nice of course... but it was ok now. I needed the room to stop being Lily's room, not because I don't wish she was using it, because I really wish she was... but because if it is always Lily's room, when we do have another baby, it don't want it to feel like they have taken her room... it needs to be theirs... I don't really know how else to explain it... Another baby will never replace Lily as she was and is our daughter, our first born, a person in herself, loved, treasured, cherished, and irreplaceable! When we have another child they will also be loved, treasured, cherished, but never a replacement, they will be a whole new being and when we bring them home they need to be able to come home to THEIR room... not Lily's room and they can use... I don't know how much sense that makes to anyone... I don't even know how much sense it makes to me!

So anyway, tomorrow I am going to work to hang out for a bit... :) Will be good to get out of the house!

Today I am thankful for...
~*~ A beautiful life coming into the world safely ~*~

And the positive thing from today...
~*~ Going to the super market... it has been a slow week!! ~*~

Sarah. :)