Today I am hurting a bit... not a heap and it hasn't taken over my day, just a feeling that pops up occasionally. The hurt today is centered around not having a baby in general I think. While people around me have kids, or have just had babies, or are pregnant... I know this isn't REALLY the case, but it is what it feels like today... and while the pain isn't so much that I don't have Lily... it is in the sense of the whole experience with Lily has woken me up to the reality that getting or being pregnant doesn't always mean you get to take home a baby at the end of it! I always knew that that is sometimes the case, you hear many stories and you can read the facts, but until it happens to you... or maybe to someone really close to you, I don't think you really completely understand that... And then the fact that it took us a year just to get pregnant... just because you want a baby, a child, doesn't mean you get one... for some it is easy... but for some it is not, and I know there are cases much harder than ours, as far as we know we can still have another one! But all I can speak from is my own experience... We have waited what seems like a long time now to have a child of our own, we thought we had it, and we did, Lily is always going to be our daughter, but now we are back to waiting, this time for a child to raise.
I am thankful today, for
~*~ Loosing (according to my scales) 1.3kg in the last week! Yay! ~*~
And the positive thing
~*~ A visit from a great friend... thanks Rach for the chat! ~*~