Today I really wished I could see Lily again... what if I forget her face because I never memorised it? I guess at the moment I am missing the NOW I should have with Lily... sure I still see lots of things that I will miss with her in the future, but today, and the last couple of days I have really been missing the now, the feeding, the cuddles, the changing, the midnight wake ups... even the crying... I am missing being able to talk to her, sing to her, give her cuddles and kisses. I am missing the now.
One of the purposes of this blog, while it is a great vent for me, and for others to read and lots of stuff, but also I think things like baby loss is often hidden away, or quickly forgotten about, swept under the rug, I hope that reading this blog, where I have been very honest with what I am feeling and what is going on for me/us, people will begin to understand some of what it is like to lose a baby. In all honesty, before Lily, I never could even begin to understand what someone might be going through! And one thing I have found important to know is that these types of feelings and thoughts are "normal".
Every situation is different, people are different, but if you know someone who goes through this in the future, just be there for them. They may not want to talk, or they might. But hopefully this blog has given you some idea of what they could be thinking/feeling, whether they tell you or not. And whether they look terrible or fantastic... there could be a lot going on under the surface!
And my advice, if you do ever find yourself in a situation where you do lose your baby, be honest, tell people (if you can). We have been very open right from the beginning and I have never regretted it! I think if you give people the chance to support you through hard times, you will find most people do! People don't always know what to say and do, but given the chance, most people want to help!
Well that is my rant for the day...
Today I am thankful for...
~*~ My inlaws! I am lucky to have married into an amazing (and crazy!) family! No monster inlaws here! ~*~
And the positive for today...
~*~ Caroline... yip shes my positive thing for the day! Comes round for a catch up tonight and brings dinner! YUM! A totally amazing woman! Thank you! ~*~
Anyway... if you wanna check out Luke's blog... just click *here*