Today's topic is 'purpose'. What is the purpose of doing this? I do this, because I can.
This journey is a powerful one. It is powerful enough that it could destroy you. It is the only experience I have had in my life that has brought me to my knees, literally and figuratively. It is a journey filled with pain that is not only emotional, but mental and physical too. It is all consuming. It is having your heart broken in every sense. The feeling of loss is so great you can physically feel it. Not like I feel sad (which I obviously do), but I can physically feel, in my body, where a piece is missing. It's not a piece of my heart, the heart that pumps blood around my body and keeps me alive, it is rather a piece of my soul. The day we lost Lily, a real, true piece of me went with her. Not just my love, but a piece of me. I wonder why it is so hard to explain? I feel like no matter how I word it, it doesn't really explain just how it feels physcially. It could be compared to losing a part of my body, like a hand, I can learn to cope without it, and I can live without it, but it is always not there.
So I do this because I can. I can, because I am on this journey of grief. I can, because I am open about it, and have been from the beginning. I can, because I have always been surrounded by incredible love and support that has allowed me to be so open about it. I can, and I do, because this journey is one that 1 in 4 woman experience, and they shouldn't have to do it alone. I can, and I do, because these lives matter. Because these babies matter. Because these parents matter.
Have a think about 4 woman you know (other than me)... do you know that there is a high likelihood that at least 1 of those woman has experienced the loss of a baby/child? Think of 4 more, 1 of those woman has too... But do you know that? Do you know about those babies? Do you know their names (if they have them)? Their stories?
I do this because this grief is powerful. It is powerful enough to break relationships, to break friendships, to break people. And it is long lasting.
And it is often experienced in silence.
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