Capture your grief - Day 19

Day 19 – Learn (What is something that this grief experience has taught you?)

I guess the obvious would be about appreciating life, and while this certainly reminded me the preciousness of life, I think one of the bigger lessons for me was how good people are.

I never dreamed of the support we received. I knew our family would be there for us and would do everything within their power to help and support us, but it was other people. It was the meals we received, the people who came together to make afternoon tea for everyone after the funeral. It was people coming and visiting when we had Lily at our home, knowing there is a chance they wouldn’t even see us. It was the washing that was done without us even knowing there was washing to do. It was the people blowing up 250+ helium balloons the morning of the funeral, it was the full fridge, the jug always being hot. It was the movie tickets given to us to use “when we were ready”, the piece of music finished with her in mind. It was the offer to take photos, they are priceless, precious gifts (both of Lily and of her celebration). It was the painting of her, the photo book. The love, kindness and support, not only from our family and close friends but from other friends and even from people we didn’t even know.

From this experience, I learnt, and very strongly believe, people are good, and people want to be able to help and support, they may not know how to or what they can do, but most people want to. Perhaps it is also why I was so forgiving when people said things that hurt, because they were never meaning to hurt me, they said things with all the intentions of helping.

If you know someone in this situation, be assured that what you do to help and support, matters! Even if they can’t express it yet.

Also, one other thing I learned, is that facebook can be an incredible tool or resource. People used facebook to 'check in', to remind us they were thinking of us and Lily. And Facebook has given me the chance to share my story. And of course last year it was through the power of facebook, and again many, many people we don't know, that we were able to find the same outfit that Lily is buried in so we could have a memory bear made in the same outfit. We found the exact outfit, even in the same size, 6 years after it was in stores!