Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Capturing your grief - Day 9

Day 9 - Transformation

Has this experience changed me? Of course, hugely. I don’t know really how to explain just how this experienced has changed me but let’s see…
This experience quickly taught me the importance of people and to cherish them. This experience taught me all about a whole new kind of love. Lily is my first born. Before Lily I wasn’t a mum, but the moment I knew she existed a part of me was growing. I believe I had to make more hard decision about life, Lily’s and ours, in the 8ish short months she was with us, than many parents have to make throughout their lives as parents.  I learned what it meant to battle in your head and heart about the life altering decisions you have to make about someone elses life. I learned there was a love so strong it is there in an instant and it does not go away. I developed an understanding of the love my parents had for me. They may never have had to make life/death decisions for me, but I began to understand that, no matter what, their love was unfaltering. I became a mum and that is a pretty huge change to a person and I knew that no matter what, from that moment, I would be a mum for the rest of my life.

Through losing Lily, I came to appreciate time, other peoples and my own. I am open minded and try my best to be forgiving. But at the same time, I am not ready to waste my time on rubbish or things that leave me feeling like rubbish.

Ultimately I learned how strong I am even while I am extremely weak. I learned how strong love really is. And I learned what really matters. (I’ll give you a hint…. It’s people!)



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