Happy Mother's Day 2016

This Mother’s day, we know of a family who, earlier this week, had to say goodbye to their little one just a couple of weeks before they were due to meet her, and it has reminded me of my first Mother’s day.

5 years ago I had my first Mother’s Day. My baby had come, but she had also gone and I wondered if I was still a ‘mum’ and I learned some big lessons about motherhood. Firstly, I learned just how many different forms there are that mothers come in and once a mother, always a mother.

Mother’s day 2011, for me, wasn’t about holding my child close, getting extra snuggles and revelling in how amazing my baby was, or liking the extra sleep in that day. It wasn’t about handmade presents and breakfast in bed. It was about remembering  a life that had already come and gone, a life that was too short, but a life that changed the person I was, and the person I would be tomorrow, a life that made me a mother and a mum. It was about taking joy in the life that was and everything she had given us, but there was a level of grieving for what would never be.

This Mother’s day, 2016, I did find joy in a sleep in, in the wonderful, handmade gifts and cards, this year I get plenty of snuggles. But there is always something missing, not just on Mother’s Day, but every day, Lily left a hole that can never be filled or fixed, she can never be replaced.

Don’t get me wrong, my life is awesome, amazing, fantastic, I love it! But something will always be missing.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there, those holding their children and those who can't, to the mother's to be and the mother's who should be.