Mothers day is coming up in just over a week and I love this celebration. I love being able to celebrate my own, special mum, and also the other mums in my life, 2 step mums and a mother in law, all wonderful women worth celebrating!
I also love mothers day because I get to celebrate it with my children, because we can have a day as a family, with pictures and cards, breakfasts etc made by my kids. But I do remember that first mother's day after I had Lily, wondering what the day really meant to me, could I celebrate mothers day even though I couldn't hold my child in my arms? Could I still claim to be a mum even though I didn't have the task of raising my child?
5 years on and 2 more kids, I am certainly a mum in all ways, but I am no more a mum now, than I was 5 years ago, I may not have my Lily in my arms and I may never hear her tell me she loves me, or "Happy Mothers Day". But I have been a mum since the moment she existed.
Tomorrow, Sunday May 1st, is 'International Bereaved Mothers Day'. While these mums deserved to be acknowledged on Mothers Day (Sunday May 8th), tomorrow, please remember all the mums you know who are missing a child, you may be surprised how many people you know have lost a child. If you talk to them, mention their baby's name, tell them you are thinking of them today. And if nothing else, send them an encouraging message on the good old Facebook, remind them they are thought of, their babies remembered (even if you never knew their child), it's not hard, and it doesn't have to take you long, but it could mean a lot to that person. It doesn't matter how long ago they lost their child, it is a heartache that will never leave them, it is something they will always be thinking about.
And if, when you are talking to her, a tear runs down her cheek, don't panic, don't change the subject, give her a hug, or simply give her a moment, when it comes to our babies we can no longer touch, a tear is never far away, but that doesn't mean we don't want to hear their name or talk about them, and it means a great deal to hear you speak their name, to acknowledge they existed and remind us we aren't the only ones thinking about them and remembering them.
And if you have some time... ask the mum her story, most mums and babies have one and want to share it! Just be prepared to listen.
Happy Bereaved Mothers Day to all the mums out there who long to one day hold their baby/babies in their arms, to tell them 'I love you' face to face and of course, to hear it back.