Thursday, March 31, 2011

30 March 2011

Today has been a day of ups and downs...
I had a fantastic cafe date with 3 wonderful ladies, it was good to get out with people and you couldn't ask for better company :)
The afternoon was a little harder, to start it off I started to pack up the room we had set up for Lily... the clothes, the blankets, etc... Maybe theraputic eventually, but extremely hard and I didn't get very far today...

Then we recieved Lily's death certificate in the mail... we knew it was coming but I still found it hard to recieve... I didn't think I would ever see the words "death" and "deceased" so many times on one piece of paper!

And then there are all the fields that will never be filled in... like 'usual occupation', and 'age of each daughter/son', and then there are ones that are filled out but are not nice answers... "usual home address: Waikato public hospital" and "Relationship status at time of death: Never in a legal relationship"... what a way to remind you of a life time of things we will be missing out on with Lily... I had thought about the short term things that we will miss, first steps, first words, tantrums, challenges like moving from a cot to a bed... but was reminded today that there is just so much more! A life time full of experiences...

But though today had its hard times, I have 2 positives for the day...
1 ~*~ Although I may not be very good company, I very much enjoyed the company today! ~*~
2 ~*~ Although receiving her death certificate was hard, it means that Lily has a birth certificate coming! It means that she lived and that is recognised! (plus we ordered 2 copies of the birth certificate... we only have 1 copy of the death certificate... so the birth certificates cancels out the death certificate... right?)