2 April 2011

Had what seems like a busy day today! Went outside to clean out the rabbit and guinea pigs and ended up spending 2 hours in the 'garden'... which was more like a forest!! When I walked by the garden in the beginning I thought I saw what looked like a tomato plant... well you should see what I found! I found MANY, MANY tomato plants, strawberry plants, a yellow courgette but no plant (yeah can't understand that one...), 3 passionfruit plants and a pretty flower! Now you have to understand, this garden has not been looked after AT ALL for over a year now... Its amazing what beauty and fun you find amongst chaos! So after spending 2 or so hours pulling out weeds but trying not to pull out the plants I had to stop, I have had a headache for the last couple of days that I can't shake and it was getting worse, causing me to get a little dizzy... plus I saw a mouse... and that was it for me!

Then I went out to Lily's grave site to remove some Lily flowers I put out there a few days ago and I was glad to see that the plant we have put out there has grown and looks pretty! While it is still a sad place, I'm glad that we have made a mark for Lily there and its bright and unique!

And then we went to the night glow... which was both amazing, and a little sad... amazing, because I haven't been for a couple of years now and it was such perfect weather for it! But then amongst it all, I couldn't help but look at the balloons, watch the fireworks and think, "Lily should be here with us" (realistically we probably wouldn't have gone with a 2 week old baby...) and looking around all I really could see was children and babies, right next to us was a small baby girl all dressed in pink cuddly things and while I was dying to turn my head away and not look, but I was continuously drawn to her, even though it hurt, I would look at her and think "I should have that, I want to have that"... feelings that you can't control, and thoughts you can't stop...

My positive for today...
~*~ TOMATOES... lots and lots of TOMATO plants! Soon to be lots and lots of TOMATOES! I like tomatoes!

Sarah.