My locket

When Lily was born some wonderful friends bought me a lovely and thoughtful gift... a heart shaped locket with "Lily 17.03.11" engraved on the back. I was quite surprised by the gift! I don't know when they thought of it, but they got it, had it engraved and were giving it to me the next day... I know it doesn't take long to engrave, but to have been so on to it! They even had to travel down from Auckland... Jen and Nico, you guys are amazing... thank you so much for the locket, I am not sure I ever thanked you properly! I have worn it every day since... even though I hadn't put any photos in it... but today, I finally put some photos in it! It's not the easiest thing to put photos in! You have to get them printed at the right size, cut them out in the right shape and get it in right... but today I did it all! :D And I am so happy with it! I LOVE it even more! Thought I would share it with you :D They are not the best photos... possibly due to the lighting... or just my bad photography! hahaha anyway, you get the idea, and I LOVE it so much! :D Again, thanks Jen and Nico!

Anyway, 2 posts in one day! Hahaha that should satisfy you Kim! :D

Sarah.

30 July 2011

The picture on the left is of Lily with her aunty Madz... my beautiful baby sister holding my beautiful baby... makes me realise my baby sister isn't a baby herself anymore!






So I was told it was about time I did another blog post... so here it is...

Things are going well for us. Work is good, very tiring but then what's new? Wasn't feeling flash yesterday (Friday) so had a day off and seem to be alright today. One of the joys of working with kids is picking up a lot of bugs!

We have continued to look at a headstone for Lily, well more still thinking about it, haven't been to any of the places that make them to get advice or ideas or anything... But the only day off Luke and I have together is a Sunday, and they aren't open on a Sunday, so makes it a bit difficult! 

Still have no idea what words to put on it that will express everything we want to say! I don't wan tit to say something sad, I don't want it to be about what we lost, but more about what we gained... what Lily was to us, rather than just our baby that we lost.

And I realised the other day, how weird it was to say that I lost Lily... I know what it is meant to mean, but I said it the other day and then thought, no, I didn't loose her... I have always known where she is! No she is not here with me, but that doesn't mean I lost her! I know it is just what you say, but why lost? I didn't loose her in the supermarket, or at the park, or something like that, I have always known where she is...

I'm not in denial, I do know that Lily died and is now gone from earth, it is just a strange feeling to say "I lost her"... maybe people would rather I said "I lost my baby" rather than, "My baby died.

We still have the kids with us. Still no plan for them, we got the care plans for them the other day (finally, you are meant to get them when the kids first come!) and it was full of incorrect info! They can't even get the birthdates and schools right! If they can't get the small things right it makes me worry for the rest of it!

On Wednesday we have a meeting at the hospital in regards to a letter of complaint we put in... don't really know what to expect there but I guess the chance to get our concerns across in hopes that some of the things that happened with us won't happen for another person in the same or similar position! It has nothing to do with Lily's outcome, it is more the experiences we had during the whole time we were there. I am going to have to re read the letter we sent to remind myself of the concerns... they are not something we have focused on!

My hair is still falling out... but I am not bald yet... thankfully! Tho some days it feels like I can't be far off it! 

Anyway, thats about all I have to say about that! :D

Sarah.

20 July 2011 - just cos

 

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you

 

17 July 2011 - 4 months

Would you believe it is 4 months since I held my live baby in my arms? Yeah, 4 months... that seems like a crazy long time to have passed for something that still feels like only yesterday... but then again, it seems like such a short time ago for something that feels like it happened so long ago... crazy how it works!

That may sound more depressing than it is meant to... but be assured, life is good, things are going well, we are doing well, its just hard to believe it has been 4 months already, and yet only 4 months... does that make sense?

Tonight I have been trying to seriously think about what we are going to do for her headstone... we buried her somewhere that we could put a headstone because that is what we want to do, but never knew how hard it would be to create one... how do you find the perfect tribute, the perfect words that will forever be there as a memory of your baby? What words do you use? No words would ever be enough to describe her, and the love and joy she brought to us... no words could ever do her justice... so what words do you settle for?

11 July 2011

I have discovered there are a lot of things they don't tell you about being pregnant, birth and even afterwards... such as when your waters break they will keep leaking! But I have now discovered another one that I at least hope is only to do with the pregnancy...

My hair is falling out... at a mentally crazy rate! At least it seems that way! I swear half my hair falls out every morning! Lol ok not quite, but it feels like it and it scared me a bit, and even more so the other night when I looked in the mirror and to me my hair is visibly thinner especially in patches (no more tying my hair up!) so had a little freak out... enough to convince me to go to the doctor (and that must be pretty bad!) ... but before seriously going through with the doctor threat I decided to consult Dr Google... and it seems it is normal to loose hair after having a baby, even months after... I am hoping that the amount I am loosing is normal too! 

Alright, so that has been my eventful few days... hair loss... was really starting to freak out quietly (yip I do some things quietly!)... 

Now my head hurts so I am going to bed finally! Was meant to be an early night but it is now 10.30... ops... 

Sarah :)

8 July 2011

Photo 1 - Birthday cake for Miss F who turned 10 on Wednesday... 

Photo 2 - The cover of Lily's book

Yesterday (Thursday) we were given an incredible gift, it is a photo book of our beautiful Lily... I have added a photo of the cover, I couldn't decide on a favourite page to take a photo of because they are all just so awesome... so all you get for now is the cover! Such an incredible gift! When I first looked at it I will admit there were tears, but the book is so visibly filled with love its just... lovely? such an understatement, but its wonderful! I have already looked at it so many times it should be all worn out! hahaha but every time I look at it there is something different that I smile about...

So I have been back at work for 3 weeks now and it is like I was never away... :) However, I am extremely tired when I get home now!

The kids are doing well... still no progress in their case which sucks for them! But they still doing good with us. They are booked in to a holiday program for the holidays which is good... we had Miss F's birthday on Wednesday... she chose what we had for dinner (cocktail sausages, sausage rolls, cake (banana and chocolate chip, made by Heidi and decorated by Miss F), chicken chips and dip and pizza... and we are taking them bowling on Sunday... we tried to make it as special as we could for her.

So in summary... we got an amazing gift and Miss F is now 10. Life is goooooooooood. :D

Sarah. :)

3 July 2011

Today I got cuddles from 2 gorgeous little bubbas! The first one cried every time I held her! Hahaha thanks Ellyce! However, baby number 2 restored my faith in babies! Hahaha had some lovely snuggles from a gorgeous little Lachy (thanks Renee and Glen!). Baby snuggles are just amazing and fun (as long as they not crying and their nappies are clean!), I love them!

Anyway, today has been quite a 'thoughtful' day... full of lots of thoughts about things... not bad stuff, well most of it isn't bad stuff, just thoughts and things.

We went shopping today for Miss F's birthday presents as she turns 10 on Wednesday... what on earth do you buy a 10 year old you hardly know? Think we have done ok... but anyway, while we were out shopping we had to stop by a couple of baby departments for a gift (not for Miss F!!)and while wording this might be hard and it might sound strange, I was able to look at things and think of another baby... not like someone else's baby (they're great too of course), but our own baby, our next one, whenever a next one comes... and it also made me begin to think about a next one... as in what will it be? What will it look like, what will the pregnancy be like... all those things that I wondered before I got pregnant with Lily, and while I was pregnant of course... it was nice though to be able to look at things again and almost be kind of excited about buying them again... and while it sucks that it won't be for Lily... we will have another baby one day and that is just as exciting as it was when we were trying for Lily, and when we were pregnant with Lily, and while we had Lily... it doesn't ever mean that we replace Lily, just like a 2nd child is never a replacement of the first! Another baby will be a different baby, a different child with a different personality... get what I mean? I look forward to that, it is the excitement that I think should be felt (or more!) around every pregnancy, every baby... doesn't mean there is never fear or apprehension and all those things, but they should still be exciting...

I was thinking today, there are so many children, babies that are unwanted... and that is, to me, an extremely sad thing! Every child should KNOW they are wanted and that they are loved! I am not saying every pregnancy needs to be planned, that's not what I mean, even an unplanned pregnancy, a "mistake" can be turned around into a baby that is wanted and loved! I have seen it, and I really admire these people! But you see kids that are put up with rather than enjoyed, and kids that aren't even put up with... :( A child/baby should NEVER have to experience that! NEVER. and it really makes me sad!! That was the only 'bad' thought from today... it is just extremely sad, as an understatement.

On another note, have you ever listened to the song Aint nothing gonna break my stride... or whatever it is called? It goes "Aint nothing gonna break my stride, nobody gonna slow me down, oh no, I got to keep on moving"... I used to really like that song, and while I don't think it is a bad song or anything, I was listening to it today and I thought, it's not true... I have learned that there ARE things that "break your stride" and slow you down, but you know what? That's ok! You don't have to 'just keep moving', it is ok for things to affect you so much that you pause, that you slow down a bit... and you know what else, sometimes your stride does change, and that is ok too! Does that make sense? Well that is my take on that anyway... doesn't mean it is the same for everyone... but I think it is kind of unrealistic to expect that you can just go through life and nothing affects you enough to make you pause... 

Anyway, I am going to bed... it has been a good weekend! Roll on next weekend! Hahaha

I am thankful for...

~*~ Phil's birthday... so I didn't have to cook dinner! Thanks Pip! ~*~

And the positive of the day...

~*~ Who could go past the baby snuggles... both the crying ones and the sleepy ones... ~*~

I am looking forward to a great week ahead! :D

Sarah.

1 July 2011

Oh my, July already! Half way through the year!

Ok so it has been a few days since I have posted... that is because life is pretty uneventful! Well that and I am just so tired I can't be bothered posting! But just as an update, things are going well. I am back into my work and am loving it! We still have the kids living with us, and not much has happened for them really... there was a family group conference this week but haven't heard whether anything was achieved in it... they have been with us for 6 weeks now... it is like they have been with us for a lot longer, but also only a short time!  They are great kids and we are loving having them.

This week has been a good week really. Monday (or Tuesday?) I was pretty tired and was a bit of a mess but the next day was another day and was much better, it was just one of those days... you have good days and bad days at the best of times! It only makes sense to continue to have them even in harder times! Today though was a little hard in a way that did relate to Lily... 2 things, 1 - one of the kids had a dummy that was the same as one we had purchased for Lily... I know that might sound strange, but I just saw it and thought of Lily, but not really in a sad way, just a "I got one of those for Lily and she never got to use it"... the other thing was some people were discussing their littlies sleep patterns and routines and I was just watching thinking, I wish I could contribute to that conversation... I wish I could talk about a night with Lily... it's not that I don't want people to talk about it around me, I normally don't mind at all, and normally I am interested in how nights have gone for people, so if that's you, don't stop talking to me about your own baby, I do still care about you and yours and I do still want to hear it... I think this week, just being more tired has made me a bit more sensitive... it is strange how some very random things won't effect you one day, but does another day...

Am looking forward to a weekend... tomorrow night we are going out for Luke's work I believe... bowling and dinner? Will be good to get out, even if it is with people I don't know well so makes for a very awkward Sarah! hahaha

Anyway, I am thankful for...

~*~ These kids we have with us... they are awesome kids who we love having! We have learned a lot from having them, and from them themselves. Will be strange when they are gone! ~*~

And the positive for the day...

~*~ Dinner :D Thanks Luke, it was yum! ~*~

Sarah.

27 June 2011

The photo is the one of the very first photos we have of Lily... from when she looked almost like a tadpole! Hahaha was cute even then! 

Today kind of feels like a real mess. Nothing really happened today... I am just mentally exhausted I think... most the day I was fine but there were a few times that I just wanted to break down in tears... nothing would even need to have happened, I just wanted to cry... I guess it was just one of those days... it isn't like I was upset about anything, I wasn't upset over Lily, I wasn't thinking about losing her or anything that would explain it, was just emotional. The grief counselor we spoke to talked about the amount of things you can cope with used to be like this much <---------------------> but now is only this much <-----> and it doesn't have to seem related or even relevant, it is just how it is at the moment. And I guess there is a new "limit", at least for now, and I am still learning it. But tomorrow is another day... and I am sure it will be a better one... after some sleep and rest. Early to bed maybe.


As a side note, above, instead of writing "thinking about losing her" I almost wrote "thinking about everything I lost" but I can't think of it like that, I DON'T think of it like that, because while I lost a lot when I lost Lily, I really gained much, MUCH more when I had her! It totally overpowers anything I lost!

Ok so a blah day, but one positive of the day was...
~*~ Coming home to a house that was reasonably clean after my darling hubby worked on it ~*~


And I am thankful for...
~*~ My mother in law and sister in law - thanks for looking after the kids while Luke was out and I had a staff meeting! You're awesome! ~*~


Sarah.

25 June 2011

Today was crazy! Good crazy, just busy. Had Jungle Rumble on today... a free kids event we put on at church that runs 10-2. It went really well, just very tired now!

On another note... a lot of things changed when we had Lily, and most of it was good, but there are some things that changed or happened that wasn't/isn't so good, but they seem to me, completely unrelated! Such as the anxiety and panic attacks I experienced... thankfully I haven't had any of that for awhile now but today i realised something else that has changed that I hope changes back... I don't really know how to explain it properly but it is like very little seems important any more... or maybe I just don't have the same motivation I used to have... I'm not sure...


There are still things that are extremely important to me... yeah I think it is better explained as a lack of motivation for things... I used to love being involved in lots of things and loved being part of the organising things... but now, it is almost like I couldn't care less... I don't think it is as bad or as serious as it might sound... I am just struggling to be excited,or even keen to be involved in the things I was involved in... maybe it is just because I am out of habit, I haven't been involved in the kids programme at church all year (other than events like this). Maybe once I actually get back into it and am fully involved again I might feel differently... I hope it changes, because I know I enjoy being involved in things...

Don't get me wrong, it is not like I am unhappy, or that I sit at home all lonely or sulking at all... it just takes more work to be involved, like forcing myself to instead of jumping at the chance... one thing that hasn't changed is my love and passion for kids and wanting to work with them in many different contexts and ways and helping out where ever I can when I can... and also my desire to help people in any way I can. It is a strange feeling to know that you can be changed in ways you don't think about... but to me, I figure if I can recognise it, I can do something about it... I can work on getting involved even if I am not naturally motivated to do so...


Anyway, today I am thankful for...
~*~ Wonderfully behaved children! F and J were fantastically behaved today and even helped during the 2 hour cleanup! I am thankful for that! ~*~


and the positive of the day...
~*~ A fantastic Jungle Rumble, what an amazing team to be a part of! ~*~


Sarah.

24 June 2011

Well I survived my first week back at work... and better than survived, I enjoyed it, I like being back, it is kind of like coming home. Yeah it has been hard at times, but it has also been really good. 

I have been asked whether it is now hard to work with kids like I do after loosing Lily, and so far (though it is only week one) I have actually found it easier than I thought it would be! Who knows why. But I think seeing the kids and babies has helped... I really don't know how to explain it at all... maybe it is because it gives me the opportunity to hold a child/baby, or be with a child/baby like I wish I was at this time with Lily... not that the other children are there filling her shoes, or that it is any thing like having my own child to hold, but it has helped I think. 

There have only been a handful of times this week that I have wanted to run but instead just stepped back or closed my eyes and taken a deep breath or two. But I got through the week and I got through ok... I haven't run screaming, I haven't tried to hide away and I haven't given up... I am able to go back each day without worry and still looking forward to each day and the fun I will have in a job I love.

Tonight I got to hold a gorgeous baby girl and it was the hardest time I have had holding a baby since having Lily... I don't know why, I have held her before, and I have held a few babies since Lily (its amazing how babies seem to come in groups!) but this time was harder for some reason... who knows why. Its not that I looked at her and thought of Lily, it's not that I broke down or lost the plot or anything like that... I just held her and had to hold back the tears but I can't explain why because I don't know the reason. I enjoyed holding her, there was just a sadness, but it wasn't a sadness that came from deep thought or even any thoughts... it just was. But you know what? It's moments like those that my heart still swells and reminds me how much I love the little girl I lost... that it can still hurt, that she is still there in my every step, my every moment, without me having to actually, consciously think about her... It isn't that I have forgotten her! Or that I don't think about it, or that I don't think I loved her... because I could never begin to describe the love I have for her, even though I have lost her (well not really lost, I know where she is)... but the moments that it hurts without thoughts, or even just when my heart tugs a bit, I realise how deep she is embedded in who I am and my daily life. So while moments are hard, they are ok... it is ok to feel how I feel, it is ok to still hurt a bit... but each time it hurts, I am pretty good at being able to turn it round and remember why it hurts... it hurts because I lost someone who I love very much, and that was my daughter... and that thought is happier... I had a baby, I had a daughter, I still have a daughter... she doesn't stop being mine just because she isn't here... so those sad thoughts lead to happy thoughts, and happy memories... holding another baby can remind me of holding Lily, and the fact that I will never hold her again, but it also reminds me that I got to hold her, I got to hold my perfect angel in my arms for her whole life and tell her I love her... not everyone who looses a baby gets that opportunity... I did. I got to have her kick my insides all around and play music on my ribs! I only got to hold her in my arms for a very short time, but I got to carry her in my womb for 36ish weeks... and I will now carry her in my heart and in my thoughts for the rest of my life.

I am lucky, I am blessed, I am loved and I love.

Positive of the day...

~*~ Holding that baby girl and the feelings that came with it and realising how Lily has become a part of my every minute whether I am aware of it or not ~*~

I am thankful for...
~*~ The chance to carry my girl for 36 ish weeks and then to hold her in my arms ~*~

Sarah.

23 June 2011

Sheesh this year is going fast!

Today I am thankful for...

~*~ Having some amazing people in my life. There are so many different characters that colour my life and some people I really admire for different reasons. I would like to say "you know who you are" but you may not realise I am talking about you... ~*~

And the positive of the day...
~*~ Getting up ~*~

Sarah.

22 June 2011

The positive of today...
~*~ Working with someone I haven't worked with for a year... I missed working with you Kim and it was great working with you again today!!! ~*~

I am thankful for...
~*~ My warm house! Really appreciating it now that I am spending most of my day outside in the cold!!! ~*~

Sarah.

21 June 2011

Another day of work.. this one was a little more trying... there was one point that I just had to bail on what I was doing... It was mat time and it was a little chaotic and I kind of feel like I buckled under the pressure... I wasn't taking mat time, just supporting... but I had this sudden feeling of "I can't do this" and I knew I had to get out... I am very thankful that I was able to just swap with another teacher without problems.

A few other low points at work today and came home tired again!!! But I am glad and thankful that I have a job I love enough that even after a bad day I look forward to going back tomorrow... 

So I m thankful for...
~*~ A day with lovely weather! ~*~

And the positive of the day...

~*~ The conversations I got to have with some of the children! I love talking to them and watching them think through things, building their own working theories of the world... conversations with 2.5 year olds are fun and insightful! ~*~

Alright, off to bed now... it gets earlier and earlier! Lol

Sarah. :)

20 May 2011 - First day back at work

So today was my first day back at work... and it went alright... tiring! But then always expected that! It was good to be back, I am glad I have a job I love and miss when I am away! It was strange to be back, and it was noisy... well compared to sitting at home alone almost anything is noisy! There were a couple of times in the day that I found I just plastered a smile on my face to get through, or laugh unnecessarily. But make it through I did and tomorrow is another day :)

Coming home was harder! But that was just because I was tired by then I think and to come home and things had been done differently to how I had been doing them for the last 3 months and with the kids it was different to the routine I had with them for the past 4 weeks... but thats ok, I got over it and the evening was good. 

So now it is early to bed ready for tomorrow...

I am thankful for...

~*~ Ice cream! ~*~

And the positive of the day...

~*~ Surviving my first day back at work! ~*~

Sarah. :)

19 June 2011

It has been a long day! Church, hair cuts, doctors, grocery shopping and shoe shopping! It has been good, frustrating and productive... and that is it for the life of luxury (HAHA)... back to the life of work tomorrow... 

So for now it is time for bed...

Positive from today...

~*~ Getting the kids hair cut... made such a difference for J! ~*~

And I am thankful for...

~*~ The new pair of jeans I bought today... :D Ones that are pre pregnancy size and fit well :) Was looking for tops but instead ended up buying a pair of jeans! ~*~

Goodnight :)

18 June 2011

Today I was having a... well I would like to say clean OUT but I don't think I got rid of anything... so really just a reorganisation... any way, came across these two photos of me when I was 1 day old that I don't remember seeing before... But I was surprised to look at them and see a similarity to Lily... maybe no one else can see it, but I saw it and I liked seeing that because I still look at the photos and see Luke.. obviously the fuzzy pictures on the left are me and the clearer ones on the right are my beautiful bub.

Today I suddenly realised how much I had wanted to do before going back to work that I haven't done... ops! So spent the day reorganising our outside room... again it was re organising rather than cleaning out :S The room is full of our 'stuff' that we can't seem to part with... there is a lot of stuff! Anyway, I reorganised some of it today so we can fit some more 'stuff' in there... hahaha Seems a little pointless but I am glad I did it! Means we can clear out some of the stuff from our room inside! Oh boy if we buy a new house without that space we are going to REALLY be in trouble!!!!!!!

Back to work on Monday... and thankfully I will be wearing pants! I haven't bought any clothes since having Lily and am currently wearing pants that are too big for me (preggy ones) usually, with 1 pair of jeans that were from early on in my pregnancy... so wasn't sure what I was going to wear to work, but I tried on my old work pants today, ones from before I was pregnant and some of them fit! So I will be wearing pants on Monday! I'm sure that pleases everyone!!! Hahaha

Today I am thankful for...

~*~ our outside rooms where we can store all our "stuff" ~*~

And the positive from today...

~*~ Finding photos of me that reminded me of Lily :) ~*~

Sarah :D

17 June 2011

Lily, I can't believe it has been 3 months since I held you in my arms for the first time and told you I loved you, oh how I love you! Even though you are gone from my arms, I still hold you tight in my heart and in my thoughts! You are still a constant joy and our memories of you continue to bring us increasing happiness. "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be." 

Well today really marks the end of my maternity leave I guess... back to work on Monday... I am looking forward to going back and getting back into a job I love! 

And what a great way to spend my last day of leave than with one last long hot chocolate date with 2 wonderful ladies... and what a YUMMY hot chocolate it was too! Thanks Jayne and Vikki :D

As you can see by my posts this week I don't have much to blog about anymore, which must be a good sign in the sense that things have settled down and there is a lot less drama! But I will continue to post as our journey does continue :) and I still plan to post the positive and thankfulness things as it is still important to me to continue to remember that there is always positives in the day and that there is still much to be thankful for! And I don't want to forget it!

So I am thankful for...
~*~ a job I look forward to going back to! ~*~

And the positive of the day...
~*~ Has to be the yummy morning tea with great company! ~*~

Sarah.

16 June 2011

The photos are of my latest knitting project...it is not perfect at all but I am pretty happy with it! Its a tunic/dress thing, was meant to be long sleeved but since I did it in a little size I didn't want long sleeves so tried to do cap type sleeves on it instead... with my very first attempt at knitting a picture into my work... a pink butterfly... not even CLOSE to perfect but not bad for my first go I think!

So this is it, my last couple of days before going back to work... I can't believe how quickly the time is gone! I am kind of excited but also kind of anxious about going back... not anxious like concerning anxious, just the normal anxious... kind of the feeling I get when I have to do tests or be assessed for something... but I think that is normal (for me at least) after being off work for 3 months! It makes it a bit easier to go back when I know that the people I work with are so amazing and an incredible support. Because if there is anything I have learned though this time (I have learned a lot more but hey...) it is that emotions are completely unpredictable and unexpected... so while I expect to be fine going back, I am still going to allow myself to feel what I feel... 

It is going to be weird not having all this spare time!

Ok so an update on these kiddies... we appear to have the stealing issue sorted, for now at least.... we have said that the kids can stay on until their case is sorted (8ish weeks) but that cyfs has to work out before and after school care for when I go back to work... they knew this a couple of weeks ago and yet tomorrow is Friday and they still haven't got it sorted... very frustrating! And even worse, the poor things still have no idea what is happening with their case and still expect to be going home soon.

Before they came to us, Miss F was seeing a psychiatrist each week and since she has been with us she hasn't been able to see them at all (thanks cyfs)... this could be why we were having the behaviours we were. It is also hard when she has asked me a few times when she gets to see her psychiatrist again... to me she is recognising that she needs to see them which is a good thing and should be recognised and supported, but I have been powerless to get this sorted for her, despite phone calls and emails regarding it... however I have finally heard that she has an appointment on Tuesday...

The positive of today...

~*~ Lunch and hot chocolate with Rach... but we forgot to have the goodies afterwards! Too busy talking!! Thanks Rach for the date ~*~

And I am thankful for...

~*~ The recognition of the time I would need off work after having a baby, still getting maternity leave payments even though I lost my baby has given me the opportunity to take the time off that I needed and return to work 'ready'. And not only has it helped in the sense of not having to go back before I was ready to work, but has allowed me time to grieve and become ok with me again at my pace and without pressure ~*~

Sarah. :D

15 June 2011

The positive thing from today...
~*~ Going to see my mum and having her show me how to knit pictures onto my knitting...  I attempted it tonight, am nearly finished so might show you tomorrow... its not perfect but I don't think it is bad for my first go! Just as well I have a clever mum! ~*~

And I am thankful for...
~*~ A final Red Cherry date with Michelle :) What am I going to do when I go back to work? AAAAAAHHHHHHH ~*~

Sarah.