18 October 2011

10 weeks... I am currently 10 weeks 2 days pregnant, I had forgotten how slow the first 12 weeks is!!! We had a scan yesterday, just to check everything was fine and it was :) Bubs was measuring bang on and heart rate was perfect :) We get another scan in a couple of weeks... the normal 12 week one... I love scans!

It is a bit more real now that I have seen bubs again. I have been a lot more nervous so far in this pregnancy than I was with Lily... It doesn't stop me being excited! just more aware of what could happen... So it is great to have scans and see that bubs is fine :) 

This pregnancy is quite different from my pregnancy with Lily so far! I am A LOT more tired! I also seem to have an extreme sense of smell which is not too bad until you mix it with this all day nausea I have! And then top it all off with headaches! It is just as well it will all be worth it! That is what gets me through :) Oh and did I mention a lactose intolerance? Not a major one, but one that has me using special milk and actually watching some of what I eat! lol

On another note (but still baby related) a close friend of mine who is pregnant had a scare and I won't go into details but there was the slight possibility that she could have ended up having her baby early... like 24 weeks. Thankfully it didn't happen and hopefully won't happen! But the thought was there and just that small possibility... that is a scary thing to have to think about, the possibility of having your baby too early and possibly loosing your baby? 

The interesting part was my thoughts, when I heard the possibility was there I thought, What a horrible thing to have to face, I can't even imagine what it must feel like to face the possibility of loosing your baby! It wasn't till about an hour later that I thought, hang on, I have been there... I mean no two persons feelings and thoughts are going to be the same even in the exact same situation, but I have faced the possibility and then the reality of loosing my baby too soon, I don't have to try to imagine, I've done it.

It's not that I have forgotten about Lily, or what I went through, it is that now when I think of Lily, I actually DON'T think about what I lost, I don't think about all the hard stuff, all the sad things and how hard it was... instead all I really think about is the love, the love I felt for her, the love Luke felt for her, the love others felt for her, the love others showed us, the support we got. They JOY she brought into our lives! She will always be our first born, and she was worth it. When I think of Lily I think of the baby I held in my arms, even if only for a short time. I think of her nose and lips. How she came out so different to what they expected. She came out perfect. That is what I think of when I think of Lily. It was nice to realise I had come to this place.

So that is pretty much life at the moment. We still have the kids staying with us, it has been 5 months now... a stay that was only meant to be 4 weeks max! But they are a part of life and family!